Episodes of War: “Christmas Eve 1944 – agonizing questions” by Hilda Birnbaum (Published on 20/12/2024)
In a publication by Volksbund Deutsche Kriegsgräberfürsorge, Hilda Birnbaum tells the story of five young female anti-aircraft helpers on Christmas Eve in 1944 (Hilda Birnbaum, “Heiligabend 1944 – quälende Fragen”, from: Volksbund Deutsche Kriegsgräberfürsorge e.V., Unter den Sternen – Weihnachtsgeschichten aus schwerer Zeit (2006), p. 168 f. [translation from German language]):
“Without singing, without lights, without candles, without presents. Expectation and joy were extinguished. Even nature was not dressed in a white festive garment covered in snow and glistening hoarfrost. Deep wounds had been inflicted on it, too. No bells rang out to announce the high feast day as they had in peacetime. The bells had long been melted down into cannons.
The simple parlor was at least warm. Very sparse old decorations, often damaged, still adorned the small fir tree that stood in its original place. A picture with a black border stood on the writing table. The son had fallen. Took so many hopes with him to his death.
A timid ringing at the front door. Five young girls in gray uniforms stood outside. Conscripted as anti-aircraft helpers. Assigned to the heavy anti-aircraft guns of an anti-aircraft battery, not far from the edge of the village. Only a short distance away, the large searchlight, glaringly illuminating the sky at dusk and at night. Enemy aircraft raided the area almost non-stop. Spreading fear and terror.
Frozen and depressed, the young girls warmed themselves by the stove. They drank the warm milk gratefully and ate the bread served with it. And then the deeply suppressed homesickness broke through in all of them. Tears streamed as they talked. The young faces were marked by fear and anxiety. Questions came thick and fast: Where are my parents, my siblings? Is my parents’ house still standing, my beloved neighborhood? Or has everything long since been destroyed by bombs? What will our next tough mission be like? Will we be spared in the next air raid? How much longer will we have to serve in the war? Questions that released fear with every word and tormented our faces. The plight of young souls could only evoke the deepest pity.
And it was Christmas. No post, no parcel from home. The feeling of abandonment mixed in. Uncertainty can be unspeakably agonizing.
Howling sirens! Startled, in their haste to put the apples and bread in their pockets, five young girls ran to their positions. No more opportunity to ask for addresses.
What happened to them? We haven’t heard anything more from the young anti-aircraft helpers.”
(Head picture: Hoarfrost in the morning in a forest near Düsseldorf,
December 2016)
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